how i'm doing

so, this is an update on how i've been doing recently since everything went down.

honestly? not great, but i'm managing.

what i've been up to

most of my time lately has been split between a few things:

den - this has become my main passion project over the past month. it's a new kind of pubnix i've built specifically for the hack club community (even though i'm still banned, here for reference). it runs on lxc containers to give users a smoother experience whilst allowing better resource allocation. it's been a good distraction and actually productive, which feels nice.

general moping - let's be honest, i've spent a fair bit of time just feeling sorry for myself around the house. not my most productive hours, but sometimes you need to sit with the consequences of your actions.

dog walks - my dog doesn't care about my internet drama, which is refreshing. walks have been good for clearing my head and getting some perspective.

friends - i've been hanging out with my friends more, which has been genuinely helpful. having people who know you outside of online communities reminds you that there's life beyond slack channels and github repos.

upcoming stuff

i'm scheduled to go to poland soon, which... honestly, i'm dreading. probably going to spend most of it being emotional, but then again, that's just generally me.

also waiting on my first year t-level results, which come back soon. really hoping i haven't completely fucked those up too, though given my track record lately, who knows.

where my head's at

it's weird being cut off from a community that was such a big part of my life. i still care about the people there and the issues i raised, but i'm trying to accept that i burned those bridges myself through my own behaviour.

building den for the community feels like a way to contribute something positive even if i can't be directly involved anymore. maybe it's my way of apologising through code instead of words.

mostly just trying to learn from this whole mess and figure out how to be better going forward. turns out getting banned from something you care about is a pretty effective wake-up call about how you treat people.

so uh. yeah thats my check in, cya!

so i did an update!!

i know a few people wanted me unbanned, so if you wanted to add words of inspiration or provided like a kind of vouch or something, you can below!! you'll be redirected to sign in with slack afterwards (dont worry only slack username and id is collected, nothing else).

tysm!!!!!